released July 7, 2017

Untitled (11)

I was in a very bad mood, fighting “musician’s block” on a sleepless night. This track was the result. Let it be here as a reminder.

It seems that I can’t write new music no matter how I try. I’m sick of it. Ambient sounds and drones seems dull, melodies are always the same. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, and I don’t know what I want to do. Do I want to do it at all? No answer.

Fellirium - Mono no aware

Mono no aware, literally “the pathos of things”, and also translated as “an empathy toward things”, or “a sensitivity to ephemera”, is a Japanese term for the awareness of impermanence, or transience of things, and both a transient gentle sadness (or wistfulness) at their passing as well as a longer, deeper gentle sadness about this state being the reality of life.

Music by Andrey Vasilyev
[electric guitar, software effects & synthesizers]

released August 27, 2016

Fellirium - Saudade


Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return. A stronger form of saudade might be felt towards people and things whose whereabouts are unknown, such as a lost lover, or a family member who has gone missing, moved away, separated, or died.

Saudade was once described as “the love that remains” after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (e.g., one’s children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (e.g., places, things one used to do in childhood, or other activities performed in the past) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. It brings sad and happy feelings altogether, sadness for missing and happiness for having experienced the feeling.

released August 7, 2016

Music by Andrey Vasilyev
[electric guitar, software effects & synthesizers]